Foolishness to the World

I can admit I live in a sheltered world. I just don't face much faith-related opposition. Don't worry, I'm not complaining, but am just pointing out a truth.

This week I realized that Eric does not live in the same world that I do. Often we talk about how people he works with react to the different things our family does. With my good intentions, I tell him to shake it off.

Earlier this week, Eric and I were golfing with his co-workers. It was the work golf outing. This year we were paired with a couple I really like but don't know all that well. Really, we see each other for work functions, weddings, and funerals.

Throughout the course of 18 holes of golf with a sit-down dinner, we find out things about each other, which means, for the first time we shared with them about our desire to adopt siblings and where we live in the city.

And they just didn't understand. "Why don't you just have more kids?" " You don't really live in the inner city do you?"

I realized that we could explain it 'til we were blue in the face, but they just can't understand. The tugging of the Holy Spirit on our lives and choices looks like foolishness to the world. We can't really even explain it in terms that will make sense to them.

So now, I think they are baffled by us. Eric has reported to me that others are baffled by us as well. And now I understand better what it is to look like a fool, but also to know that at the end of the day, the life we lead is a response to God's call.

Maybe others will see God in the lives we lead. At least that is my prayer.

And the results are (almost) in. . .

Tonight I write this post because I know you are eager to hear how it went, but I feel at a loss for words to describe this past weekend and all the work & result that the sale included.

Wonderful. Exhausting. Fun. Hard. Full. Blessed. Frustrating. Surprising. Exhausting. Busy. Friend-ful.

I guess I can give you a bit of an illustrated play-by-play.

Friday morning began bright, beautiful & early. As in, I woke up at 6:15 and Eric and a handful of friendswer working in my side yard. We were set-up & ready by 8:30--and away we went. We had 16 tables in the yard, stuff on the ground, boxes that weren't able to be unpacked. It was crazy.

OG was lucky enough to be invited to play at a younger friend's house (which was a huge blessing!)

J & K, with the help of our friend Karli, manned the bake sale table (until noon when they quit because it was too hot and Yoli offered to take them swimming).

Our handmade table had some lovely pens, fantastic jewelry, and really super cute hair clips. On Saturday, that table also included my handmade item: produce bags!

Grandma & Papa picked the kids up that evening--and we slept in a tent (well, sorta, for part of the night, because, well, did you see how much stuff there was? Did you think we could have possibly put that all back in our garage overnight?). We stayed in the tent late into the night when we realized that a few hours of sleep in our bed was precious to us. We also believed that the presence of the tent was good security for the area. 

Saturday was hot. And much slower. Honestly, I was ready to throw in the towel at about 12:30--but friends continued to encourage, and people kept coming and coming, until 4 p.m. We started packing up then--and after we sorted out the things that we are keeping to sell on Craig's list, ended up with a garage full of goods for a mission or ministry.

How to report the God things that happened in these two days? Well, I can't share them all, but there are some great stories. Like the many people who stopped to ask us about where Lesotho is. Or the many, many wonderful people who paid for a $1 item with $10 or $20 or more and let us keep the change. The friends who stopped by to offer hugs, gluten free treats, prayers, or to browse (even though they didn't need a thing in the world). The one family that came after hours and hung out for a bit as we found common interests in reading, writing, adoption, thrift, and life! The many, many confirmations we received.

But the best, I've saved that for last. Late yesterday afternoon, a sweet looking guy (college age) stopped by and bought some ugly duck thing (picture). After some conversation we learned that he had recently returned from three months in the South African Free State which is just north of Lesotho and that he spoke the language of the country, Sesotho (Se-su-to). He hung around for a bit and taught us a few words and phrases. We are going to see him again soon, look through his pictures and hear more about his experiences.

But what a God-thing! Things like that don't happen by chance.

So I also shouldn't be surprised that when we counted our earnings again tonight for deposit, our money multiplied. There was $150 more than when we counted and added last night!

The cicada hatched on this bag Saturday morning.
 It was beautiful to see another aspect of God's craftsmanship

While there are still some small sales pending with the possibility of more earnings, tonight we figured out two things. 1) The amount we earned is equal to the amount we had to take out of the adoption savings to pay bathroom costs. (got that?) 2) The amount we earned is about 1/3 of the amount we need for our first payment to the adoption agency

Our God is so good and abundant. I am still in awe.

Look what God has already done!

I write this post on Tuesday night, three days before our garage sale and I already stand amazed at how God has provided for us--and we haven't yet received a penny! In fact, I wanted to record how i feel at this time so that I can remember that no matter what the dollar figure for our weekend, we can remember that God provides.

I am both overwhelmed and overwhelmed by the outpouring we have received.

Overwhelmed in a good way because there has been overwhelming response (as in people I never would have expected have contacted us to offer help/goods/stuff).

And Overwhelmed in an overwhelmed kind of way because our house is full of stuff for this weekend.

Here are a couple stories that I am really holding on to right now.

One Sunday afternoon a friend dropped off a load that included three bikes left in the basement of his rental house. That afternoon a member of my small group (a bike guy) took a look at them and offered to fix them up. So he took them to his brother's bike shop and put on new tires, tuned it up, and washed it. He returned on Monday with two bikes that we can now sell for about $100/piece. They are great bikes that ride smooth.

Tuesday morning a woman from our church called. She was moving and heard we were having a sale and why and wondered if we would be interested in the stuff left in her house that she hadn't been able to give to friends. We said, "yes" and four van loads later have (among other stuff) a beautiful loveseat with a pull out bed and a chaise lounge.

A Saturday morning a dear friend and her son stopped by, unannounced, and left us with a couple bags of clothes and a brand-new, still in the box radio flyer wagon! From the store it is more than $100.

Right now, I have a huge pile of clothes in my basement, a front porch full of furniture, a garage packed with small appliances, bikes & baby goods, and rooms in my house full of sorted and priced items. And more is still coming from family members and friends. I look around and stand amazed.

Some different people Eric and I know who make hand-crafted goods have sent us some of their wares (pens & jewelry) to sell.

People have offered to bring baked goods for the kid's bake sale table. We have others who have volunteered to some and sort. I am blown away by this response. Truly. It reminds me that even though this event and fundraiser is benefiting our family by providing us with funds to bring some kids home, the community around us wants to help provide two kids a forever family.

 I have goosebumps all over as I write this. I know God is here. And I trust that just as he has provided people & goods & hands, he will also provide buyers and money. Pray for that with me, will you? Pray that there is another overwhelming response, that lots of stuff finds new homes, that others catch the vision as well. Pray that these are days that bring glory to God.

Becoming less childish and more Child-like

Sometimes I feel like such a fool. Like these past two weeks as I have been worrying about money and provision which I cannot control. And trying to hand out my ideas of what to do, how to fix, how to provide. As I listen to myself I feel like I sound a bit like a whiny teenager, maybe even childish in my plans.

It's a bit embarrassing to admit.

And then, while I was madly cleaning our house yesterday, I stumbled upon OG's book from school--the preschool one that has pictures of her family, her self portrait, her fingerprint, pictures of heaven (a blue blob), and the baby Jesus. I was paging through it, not taking much note of anything extraordinary, until I stumbled upon her last page. A picture of what her family looks like that she drew/painted at the end of the school year, about 4 weeks ago.

Notice, my 4-year-old has complete confidence in what we desire--so much so that her new brother and sister are already a part of our family. See, her new brother is hiding behond a bush (on the left) and her new sister is not shy (on the far right). This picture stops me in my tracks. It brings tears to me eyes. It reminds me to have faith like a child: a beautiful-not-doubting-not-worrying kind of faith. The faith that believes that God said there will be two more in our family.

That's my goal: to be less childish and more child-like with the hopes that as time passes I become more Christ-like. 

To end tonight, I want to give to you a gift that God gave us. A music video by Third Day. In it we see a picture of what our family could look like one day, but also a clear visual image of the fact that every single one of us has been adopted by our great God, the one true God.



We are the saints, we are the children,

we've been redeemed, we've been forgiven,

we are the sons & daughters of our God.

The Continuing Journey, and God's Provision

This past week has certainly been an interesting week. If you know me, you know that I do not handle stress that well and last week was full of it. There were two ear infections, adoption education, homeschool cirriculum fairs, meetings, a quick trip to chicago, bathroom work, and the rest of life as we know it.

And the most stressful thing: Eric & I took a long, hard look at our finances as we continue to refinish our bathroom and pursue this adoption. We are working hard to pay for everything with cash. We don't want to take loans to finance any of this. Knowing this, we realized a hard truth. We will not have enough money to do both of these things.

And this, to me, is a paralyzing realization.

There are things I know about God's provision, things I trust about this call to adopt and following the heart of God. But then, right now, there are many things I don't know about how it is all going to happen. In this past week I was very discouraged. The question I kept (and still keep) asking is: HOW? How will we pay for it all? How will we have the money for our first adoption payment? How will the timing work out? How can we cut our budget to make enough room?

We still don't have answers, but we have seen bits of provision: bathroom cabinetry at a fabulous discount, the gift of swimming lessons for the kids, coming in under budget at the grocery store and farmer's market.

And we will start fundraising. Our first big payment to the adoption agency is $6,000 and we believe it will come due in about 2-3 months. So, to get there we are planning a garage sale (july 8&9--we're accepting donations of your stuff!) and we will have a backyard barbeque/pig roast. I am also working on creating something to sell--produce bags. More on that to come.

To help all of us visualize where we are in the fundraising process, I am going to add a fundraising thermometer to this site, so we can all track God's provision & faithfulness and the deep love of others.

We value your offers to help in any way, and we covet your prayers.

163,000,000-2 = 7

Today's thoughts are deeply personal, but I need to share them. I may stumble over my words and not have the right words for everything, but I ask that you read with an open heart and try to hear mine.

Right now, as I write this there are an estimated 163 million orphans in the world.

163,000,000 kids without a mom or dad to take care of them.

Think about that for a moment.

They can be found in every single country in the world. The United States, throughout the continent of Africa, in increasing numbers in Asia and the former Soviet bloc countries. In the poor slums in of South and Central America, in foster and group homes in the United States, in orphanages everywhere.

They are orphans for many different reasons. Some reasons have to do with disease: HIV/AIDS, Tuberculosis, Malaria. Some have to do with armed conflicts that have stolen parents from kids who need them. Some have to do with cultural norms that doom a child who is not recognized by his father. Some are because law in a country forbids multiple children. Some are because of poverty, substance abuse, and an inability to parent in the face of great difficulty.

Over the span of many years, God has been breaking my heart: for the broken, for the lonely, for the motherless. Then over this past year, I read the history books of the Old Testament in conjunction with my kid's history studies. What I found was fascinating, challenging, eye-opening. One thing: God cares deeply about the plight of the orphan and the widow. Deeply. And I began to know that it was time to act. To put movement on my feet and action to my hands and act out this love.

Now there are actually a myriad of ways to act for those 163 million orphans. That number of orphans indicates that there are huge, monumental problems that countries, the world, God's church need to address and work together to solve.

But for me and our family: our call to action is to bring two orphans into our home, our family. To be a family that is united by marriage, by birth, and by adoption.

Why? Because God loves me. He took me into his family though I was sitting in a corner dying in my sin.

Eric & I have walked separate journeys to come to this place. I have had to realize that I am called to be a mother, not resigned to it. Obviously, Eric didn't need to go to that place, but we both had to be moved by God to acknowledge his will, his provision, and then to act upon it.

Together, our family has just started a long road. It will probably be a while before we have a referral and even longer to travel to pick up our kids. We have a lot to learn between now and then: lessons about grace and provision, how we parent, how we are as a family, the importance & place each person has in our family and how to balance everything. Oh, don't worry, our eyes are wide open as to the positives and negatives associated with adoption. We have seen both the beautiful and the heart-breaking.

But you know what? We've actually started! And we're excited. And a teeny bit freaked out. Somewhere out there, there are two kids (or one if that's what God wants) that are meant for this family. Crazy to understand and even harder to imagine.

163,000,000-2.

It's not much, but it's a start.
 

"I will not leave you as orphans, I will come for you."

John 14:18

The Bathroom Update

Oh, I wish I had more to tell you. Like 'the bathroom is done.'

But alas, at this point almost 2 weeks after a drip of water fell on my head--well, we have almost finished a complete demolition of our bathroom. The only thing left to do on the demo is to remove the floor.

Highlights of the process so far:

• On Saturday Eric took a ton of rubble to the dump. A real TON--2,000 pounds of plaster, lathe, paint, tile and mortar. From a 6 x 9 bathroom. Seriously, our house is solidly built. We marvel at the men who built our house in the 1920's--the time and materials it took, the skill needed to do a quality job.
• Our friend Terrance came over on Friday night and helped to remove the remaining walls, closet-thing, and the tub. The best part of that night was Eric and T throwing the steel tub off the side of the house while our sweet elderly neighbor watched. There's never a dull moment at the Beuker house!

   

What's next?
Hopefully we can get the floor up quick--because we really can't do any sort of planning on the room until we talk with our plumber and see how/if we can move things and how much it will cost. I have been told a few times that moving plumbing lines is easy, moving refuse lines is not.

Between now and then?
Well, there is a layer of dust that covers my whole house. So if you're coming over, you will be able to write your name on the top of my piano, window frames, fish tank and mantle.
I'm going to try to refrain from pacing the house, muttering incoherently, and pulling my hair out remain calm. Some days are better than others. This bathroom project is already driving me nuts!

We take any and all volunteers. Anytime.
Really.