Wednesday, October 24, 2012

14 years and counting...

October 24, 1998
14 years ago, two very young people stood in front of their family and friends and declared their love for each other.

It is still amazing to me how God directed our paths to each other. We met in Mexico on a missions trip. I never tire of our story--how God took two unlikely people and knit them together.

I am a horrible romantic and the depth of feeling I have today is hard to describe. Thankful. Grateful. Amazed. Deeply In Love. Joyful.

I have tried to write three versions of this post. I simply can't find the words. They fall short, they're trite, they're too easy.

Marriage isn't easy--we've both had to learn a bunch. How to hear the other's heart. How to say no to ourselves and yes to the other. How to speak with honesty, compassion, and acceptance. How to fight fair. How to let go of cultural norms and cling to how God has crafted us and our marriage. How to ask hard questions and make harder decisions. How to follow God's voice in a noisy world. How to grow, both as individuals and as a couple. How to fight for us in the midst of life's distractions.

There have been trials--my health, stresses from workplaces, job changes, raising kids.

But there is so much joy and laughter. There is nothing more lovely than sitting on the couch at the end of a long day, sharing some wine and our days. Watching our children be goofy and lovable and kids. Knowing that they are feeding off the love we show each other. Stolen moments. Unexpected adventures.

I have been more than blessed to be married to a man who loves me as much as I love him. He's compassionate, kind, ever-learning, creative, and giving. He works hard so I can stay home with our kids. I think he gets more and more handsome as the year pass. I can't believe that I am so lucky (although I know that luck has nothing to do with it!)

Part of our wedding was that we had to choose a passage for a sermon. Ours came from Song of Solomon (8:6-7). And looking back, I realize it was a beautiful choice for us to declare our love for each other to the world.
Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm;
for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave.
It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame.
 Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot sweep it away.
If one were to give all the wealth of one’s house for love,
it would be utterly scorned.

This is my beloved. This is my friend.
Song of Songs 5:16

Eric, I can't wait for the next years of our journey.

I love you.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Now what?

So I have finished a first (very rough) draft of my book. It's a fiction novel that covers the life of a woman from the mid-1940s until the mid-1960s. It's a tumultuous book without a ton of hope or redemption. The first draft came in a 99,300 words. I am currently working on the rewrite (which I think is harder than the first draft). There's a lot to do yet for this book--for it to be good, to be finished, to be published.

But now, I am wondering, what do I write?

I have perused my writing journals for the past four years and realized that I've been telling this story in varied forms for the past 4 years. It needed to get out.

But now that it is told, what should I write? Really, I have no idea.

Should it be another fiction story. I'm not sure I have another one in me. Should I work on those two non-fictions that have been rolling around in my head? I don't have enough experience to write those. And truth be told, I don't think I'm very good at non-fiction. Should I focus on blog writing and building my platform (that's an idea where writers increase their base so as to show publishers that a potential book would have a market. I buckle against this a bit)

From what I've heard, most writers have more than one project going at any one time. Some even jump from project to project depending on their mood.

I don't have any other projects.

And I know that I already miss the creating aspect of writing. It's only been three weeks since I finished my draft and I am aching for the joy of creative writing, for discovering where a character is going to take me, for following an action out to it's furthest consequence. I miss storytelling.

I'm not any further ahead than I was at the beginning of this post. But now at least, you know as well. You're a creative bunch, got any brilliant ideas? I'm open to suggestions, if you have any!