The Rest of Life

I don't want anyone to be under the false impression that all I do is sit around my house and brood about the adoption. To be completely honest, I try not to spend too much time thinking about it at all (keeping the mind busy). But also, I have a great and full and wonderful life.


Hey guys, can I take a not-goofy picture of you?

And since everyone everywhere is talking about back-to-school, I thought I would gush about Back-to-Homeschool!

Yep, I said 'gush.'

Why? Because even though it's hard and busy and time-consuming and mentally challenging, I still love it. I love spending time with my kids, helping them learn. I love watching them grown and develop. Although, I would honestly love to let another person focus on all the character training, it is part of my responsibility.

And I love what we learn. We have a full docket this year and I want you to hear about it. I've spent a great deal of time thinking, praying and planning for this year--and you should know. (Part of it is because for some, homeschooling is still not a legitimate form of education. I want you to see that for me, and many others, we take this stuff seriously.)

So this year we're learning:


Olivia at her desk.

• All about the history and geography of the 19th century (read: 1800s--westward expansion, colonialism, slavery and the civil war, industrial revolution). I could go on and on about how much I love history, but, I refrain. . .
• Writing, grammar, spelling, journalling,
• Bible study on Missionaries and the Gospel of John
• Chemistry (at the kid's request--and I'm a bit excited.)
• Art--following the Impressionist and Modern artists of the last two centuries
• Math--all kinds of math. Seriously. Three levels of math. Math that I now have to actually read the teacher's manual in order to know how to conceptually teach it.
• And Kindergarten--who could forget all the fun stories and hands on projects of Kindergarten. I'm thrilled to be in Kindergarten for the 4th time in my life. I'm enjoying it much more now!



Josh at his desk

• P.E.--yep, gotta have that component. You have to learn the rules to games like basketball, soccer. And you have to learn to run laps!
• Oh, and field trips! I'm super excited about all the field trips we have scheduled for this year!

Lest you think it's all about academic work, it's not. It's also about:

• Working and living and being together, A LOT!
• Helping each other out in times of need.
• Learning to work independently.

  

  Katie at her desk

• Life skills--working in the kitchen, personal responsibility for your own stuff, cleaning, laundry, errands, running a household.
• Oh, and fun! We try to have lots of fun together!

Homeschooling has just become part of our lives, how we live and shape our family. And for all the struggle, it has been good. Our family has grown, I've grown (probably me the most of anyone).

And now for the obligatory pictures!

I took this pics on our second day of school. (why not the first you ask--mostly because we hadn't gotten our new back-to-school outfits and we all look sorta sloppy.) As it was, not everyone was particularly thrilled about pictures. (Can you tell?)

3rd Grade

2nd Grade

Kindergarten

School Photo

Finally, a great picture of my goofy kids!

Because you can worship anywhere. . .

I can't dance.

It's sad, but true.

In fact, I've never had the chance to dance. Well, sorta. The conservative school I attended forbid dancing (we got to sit through banquets), I didn't go to concerts, I've never been to a club. And at all the weddings and functions I've attended in my adult life, well, there are always VERY interesting people to talk to!

This is not to say that I don't want to dance. I do! In fact, I have a hard time not responding to music. I think I look a little (or a lot) silly sometimes. For example, when I dropped the kids off at gymnastics this afternoon, there was some music on. And it was fun music. And I pretended to dance to it. And someone commented that it was "nice." And I promptly stopped all pretend dancing.

Honestly, I am moved by music. But by now, I feel I'm too old to dance without looking like an idiot. So I will keep my sweet moves in my head. Unless I am with a group of children who love it when people look silly--then I am in my perfect element.

However, I am becoming more convinced and ready for Heaven in this one way. There, at the foot of the throne of my King, I will be able to throw off the constraints of this world and dance for Him!

What in the world would inspire this?

This weekend, my daughters participated in their annual ballet recital. They dance in the little kid's programs at Hearts in Step Dance. And HIS is unabashedly and unashamedly Christian in its focus and practice. So this weekend, I was invited to dance in the presence of my King. I watched as girls (and one brave boy) danced for Jesus. Some laid their crowns before him, others lifted their arms in praise, a few just stood there and stared into the crowd. It was so sweet and pure. It was a holy time.

In that auditorium, I watched as Olivia danced the proclamation that:

"I am a true princess, a daughter of the King,
I have a royal Purpose, 'cause Jesus is my everything."

I watched Katie and her small class dance to the song Blessings. Their teacher told them that their dance to Blessings was so that they could be a blessing to someone. And these girls took that to heart.

And every year, the program ends with "The Revelation Song" and a stage full of dancers in dresses the color of the rainbow. And the words echoed by the movement transport me to the throne room of God where we will all, one day, proclaim

"Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God almighty
Who was and is and is to come.
With all creation I sing
Praise to the King of Kings,
You are my everything
And I will adore you!"

As unexpected as it is, almost every time, I am transported beyond that auditorium, pricked by the presence of the Holy Spirit, and worship. It is a sweet, Holy time.

And my girls are pretty great too!

What a five years!

Five years ago today, I gave birth to a child that I didn't know I wanted.

If you don't know my history, you have to understand my life at that time to fully get that statement. My oldest two are about 16 months apart in age. And just about the time that I was catching my breath from two pregnancies and babies (when #2 turned 1), God announced a third. This baby changed everything. We had to move houses and neighborhoods. This baby set an already weary body into over-drive. During the time of this pregnancy, my husband was in the middle of an intense Master's program that was coupled with an already intense job. We had made our plans about the future of our family and this baby wasn't in it.

Three babies in three years. I had enough of the "you do know what causes this, don't you?" comments. I was bone weary, soul-tired, emotionally tapped out.

And then I met her. I never knew just how she would change my whole life.

The happy baby who could go from laughing to sleeping within a nano-second. The baby with the spiky dark hair that wouldn't lay down until the day of her baptism. The little girl who while learning to walk wore squeaky shoes (so that way I could know where she was).

Olivia Grace, you are an unbelievable child. Sometimes I have felt a little crazed in trying to parent you. You are curious, independent, confident, fearless, creative, content, thoughtful, and kind to others.


You are a gift that I did not deserve. I am thrilled that you are my daughter.

 I pray that I am a mother that gives you wings to fly, allows you to express your deep heart, encourages you to run to the arms of your Savior, teaches you to love & to fully live in the world, helps you to see the beauty in the people and nature that are all around us.

Has it already been five years? Already you seem so big, so ready to take on the world, to conquer it with your love and imagination (and a little bit of sass). Already you don't need me all the time.

I pray that you become a woman of God, that in every action people know and see the feet and hands and face of Christ. I pray that you have a heart of compassion, lips of prayer and praise, hands of service, and feet that feel free enough to dance and move as the Lord calls.

I am so thankful for you. You are absolutely one of God's immeasurable gifts.

Happy Birthday, Olivia!

Fun in this Life

So the past few weeks have actually been a lot of fun here. And it culminated this weekend in three major happenings.

1) The garden is completely planted. In our small space we have strawberries, rhubarb, and onions oregano and chives thriving. The peas and potatoes are coming along. The green beans sure are taking a long time to sprout. But the soup beans look fantastic. I am excited about what I can do with those this fall (Thanks, Meika).

We planted 3 types of tomatoes, zucchini, cucumbers, green and red peppers, basil and head lettuce seedlings. And I finished by putting in a bunch of carrots (ha, ha).

I can't wait to see what will work and what won't in this garden. Now, if only I could keep the weeds at bay.

And in another Sammy Homemaker moment, I finished another dress for K--it's super cute and maybe I'll get around to posting a picture of that too, but that would mean that I need to take a picture of it first.

2) J finished his soccer season. The level of improvement we've seen in him has been phenomenal. He went from not knowing where the ball was to actually being able kick the ball, in the direction that he wanted it to go. Anyway, here are some cute pictures of him.

3) K had her very precious ballet recital in which she danced to Wonderful, Beautiful Savior (which is now her favorite song). We got to watch lots of super cute dances by all the preschool classes at Hearts in Step. Really, we have 10,000 (a slight exaggeration) super cute pictures of the little princess, but because I know you don't have quite the emotional attachment I do, I'll just show you two. Her outfit is very, very pink, so I called her cotton candy or pink bubblegum. (She preferred cotton candy!)

And 4) And because I feel bad that I have no pictures of OG up here, because frankly she is only two and not yet into these kinds of things, here are two random shots of the little one.

(What kind of mother lets their kids play in the mud like that?)

On Carts and Falling

Today was a difficult day for me, mostly in that it was a reminder how of precious my kids are to me. I am emotionally drained and exhausted, but felt that I should write this down before I forget the urgency of how I feel.

Today started great. After a disaster at the fabric store yesterday where J & K pulled the shopping cart over onto themselves as I was choosing patterns, I went back with just the girls. It was great, they were respectful and obedient and patient. 

Until, as we were leaving the store they both flipped out of the shopping cart and fell onto the backs of their heads (yeah, I know, I should be nominated for mother of the year!) After getting them calmed down, which took about 10 minutes, I thought things were going to be fine, but then OG starting to be really sleepy, wouldn't talk or make eye contact, wouldn't eat any lunch or notice the hub-bub around her, and kept complaining about her head hurting. When Eric put her in the car, within seconds, she was asleep. 

We decided to take her to the ER, becuase we are all too aware of how simple bumps can be much more life-threatening than first glance and becuase her behavior was very worrying. Even Eric was a bit scared. 

To make a long story short, she slept in the car all the way to the ER and perked up by the time she left triage. By the time that I got there after dropping K off at school, she was just peachy. (little turkey)

Honestly, I cried from the time I dropped K off at school until I reached OG's room. Its a horrible feeling, without control, full of fear, to think that great harm could have happened to your child. And to think that I was the responsible one, I still grimace at the thought. And I have complete trust in the plan God has for her and all my kids, I just don't know how I could continue to live a life if God felt it was time for one of the to go Home to him. And while these are uncomfortable and saddening things to think--they are real and honest and there are many parents who live in that reality. 

Now, I am grateful and thankful that it is just a minor head injury (but even that sounds horrible) and all we have to do is to try to keep her from hitting her head again for the next week or so (but even the doctor acknowledges that she is 2 and some doctor's orders are just hard to follow and we can't have her live in a bubble with a helmet). But I was reminded in a way that I never wanted about the fragility of my kids lives and how wonderful every single day that I get with each one of them is. 

I am thankful that God is both Jehovah Rapha (the God who heals) and Jehovah Jirah (The God who provides). He is the Great physician who kept my baby's head okay and will watch over her every moment. And he is the God who loves me in spite of my failings, too. 

That's It, I'm Done. . .

. . .With diapers!


After five years, there are no more diaper children in this house! OG transitioned to big girl underwear yesterday and so far, there has been only one accident (on K's pillow last night, but no major trauma caused!).

Technically I know that I could wait a good long while to do this, but really, OG is very ready and I just needed to be done with it.

We had the potty day yesterday, complete with teaching Dolly how to use the potty, a time to throw away diapers and a celebration at the end of the day with ice cream sundaes and presents to celebrate the big girl! The most challenging thing about all this is the two extra helpers that I have. Sometimes its great, I can ask J or K to read OG a story while she is sitting on the toilet while I deal with some other emergency. Sometimes, it's not so great when they want to play "potty training" or answer the questions for OG. Regardless, its challenging, but its also sweet. They always want to be in the bathroom reading stories with her, encouraging her, even prompting her to hurry. Also, I have learned how much I have chilled since we trained J to use the potty. Before, it was all drama and struggle--this time, it's much more chill and "well, accidents happen." But then again, we are only on day 2!