Once upon a time I was a person who thought a lot about a lot of cool and (I felt) meaningful things. I had opinions and thoughts to offer to a conversation and surprisingly, some people wanted to hear what I had to say.
Life has changed since then. I went from working in a ministry that was impacting the lives of many middle schoolers to working in a home impacting the lives of three precious gifts. Rarely do they ever ask me for a deep thought or a bit of a sermon on how Christ would handle unruly parents or relationship troubles. We're in more of the "Sit-down-and-listen-to-what-I-say-and-respond-appropriately-the-first-time" mode, along with "if-you-keep-saying words-like-that-you-may-get-to-eat-soap-for-dinner." (Don't worry, no soap has been eaten by anyone yet!) And honestly, I rarely feel like I have much of value to add to many conversations. People stop to talk and I have little to say and often I feel as if I am only bringing up the negative in my life instead of all the wonderful postive things that I am blessed with.
And then today it hit me at our church camp-out--while our Pastor was asking for observations about the weekend we had spent out in nature--that I didn't have anything to add. And that stung a little. Sure, I could have added something cute about my kids and how we discovered a spider wrapping its catch on a spider web. But honestly, I had nothing that would impart God's wisdom to another person (or so I thought). And while the time in my life where I need to be the center of attention has passed, I still know that I need to have creative thought about things that aren't necessarily related to kids and child rearing and homeschooling and keeping a home.
I want to think again. I think I am getting there. Just recently I had the whisper of a thought about God and lions and Aslan and majesty. And I tried to capture it, but it vanished. But I am pretty sure that before long, it will come back. And this time, I will be ready to catch it!